Blast from the past (deuce)

piece of mind

maybe this is

a fucked up way

to look at it

but when you came into this

holding back that

little piece

not willing to give 100%

of yourself

you are the one who is

lost

baby

i made my mistakes

i crossed boundries

broke some ... deals

but i gave you 100% of

me

you had all i could give

and i was 100%

hurt by

you

i think you had that

little piece

of yourself tucked away

so long

that you forgot about it

now you look for it

in someone else

trying to find what is not even there

keep seaching hunny

keep trying to find what you thought

you lost

i aint even mad at you anymore

sorry

im so so sorry

but i feel

sorry

for

you

L'Inverno

i lie awake at night

thinking ...

asking the same questions ...

oh dread penance ...

i think about the good and

bad times ...

how i could never be sorry enough

for the past

transgressions

in your eyes ...

how i could never do enough

to make it right

in your eyes ...

i think how i wasn't good enough

for your truth ...

how you demanded and

expected

mine ...

how it all has changed from

tears all night to

just

one

because that's all i will let

come

because that is all that will

come ... now ... and

by the time that tear dries

i will sleep a dreamless

sleep

i think about how i will

wake

to empty days and

going through the motions and

how to get used to the idea of

me without

you ...

i think about right and

wrong ...

sin ... forgiveness ... redemption ...

i see long long days

turn into longer nights and

i lie there

Awake ...

Broken

i am a reflection looking at my true self outside the mirror

misery is my comfort

pain makes me feel content

as i look through the glass i wonder if this is the day

will i turn the tables and become myself again?

staring into empty eyes

eyes that i know so well

today is not that day

i see a clenched fist

shards of broken glass on the bathroom floor

pieces of myself as i look closer

many shattered images gaze back at me

beautiful disarray

i reach to grab a piece

i feel it cutting into skin and flesh as i grip it in my hand

warm blood spills out

pain shoots up my arm

i smile

i know i'm alive